Fall of last year, my husband and I were having our Sunday adventure at the beautiful Huntington Gardens here in Los Angeles, an outing that has become a beloved go-to date excursion with all that it has to offer… landscapes from different regions around the globe that whisk you away and satisfy both the need to be bathed in nature as well as scratch the wanderlust itch; architecture, artifacts, sculptures and art that make you stare at every detail, soaking in the intention and energy it was created with (I can’t ever pass up a visit to the famous piece entitled “Blue Boy” that my late grandpa was endeared to. A piece that likely wouldn’t typically make me emotional, but even now, I can see my grandpa being in awe of every stroke with his nose inches away from the canvas, which brings the warmest feeling and my eyes a bit misty).
I digress!
While we were enjoying our visit, it occurred to me out of the blue that I would love to visit London again soon to see my friends. Immediately after that, it occurred to me that I would love to work while I was there. I’ve worked with my one on one clients there, but that wasn’t the feeling that came with it - I knew it meant working in a bigger capacity, like running a group.
This made me nervous!
Why? Well for context, I have spent the last six and a half years wondering when I would have the desire to run my own weekend retreat but every time I would dip into my wisdom, the quiet knowing inside, and ask myself if it was time to do so, it never felt alive inside of me. I’ve worked with groups in companies and universities, but I get to show up and share in those capacities, running my own group was a different ball game altogether. It sounded like hard work, a big risk and frankly, I just didn’t want to. I used to struggle with the fact that it never sounded like a good idea because I knew how wonderful of an experience I could create and how ideal it would be to help more people at once. But again, it didn’t feel right, which meant it wasn’t right… back then.
So as you can imagine, when it occurred to me that it was time to put something together in this bigger way, of course it gave me a fright! I was being called by my internal guidance that it was time. I was being stretched. The penny had dropped.
*breathe in, breathe out, you don’t have to do anything with this information immediately, Jessie*
I allowed a bit of time to pass and every once in a while I’d ask myself, what would that look like? Would I want to co-teach with anyone? (Another idea that always looked fun but didn’t make me want to do it). I’d let myself ponder and again, remind myself that I didn’t need to do anything about it immediately.
Then one day on my morning walk, a colleague of mine named Wyn Morgan, who I had never met formally but we knew of each other through our practitioner community, popped in my mind.
“Really?” I thought, “I don’t even know him! But he IS in London. And you do love his vibe and how he articulates the understanding… why not?” I let Wyn’s name come to mind a few more times before I finally decided, what’s the harm in emailing him to see if he’d be interested? And as life typically unfolds when we listen to the inner nudges, he emailed me back within an hour saying he’d love to jump on a zoom to explore the idea, and within 20 minutes of said zoom call, we knew we wanted to move forward!!
As a reminder, all of this started to transpire in the fall of 2023, we were a *go* by December and here we are, the first week of March, 2024 and I am headed to London in a few days to teach a weekend retreat all around dissolving stress on March 16th and 17th in central London.
Why am I sharing this with you? Well, I think we can get caught up inside of ourselves (me, too) when it comes to our ideas around growth, expansion, doing new things, wanting to make changes, etc etc. We may have a desire, or a nudge, or a lifelong dream that comes to mind over and over again but instead of staying open, allowing curiosity to lead without looking for answers, allowing time to bake the idea before it’s ready to come out of the oven… we instead start to focus on it, assess if it’s possible for us, get vigilant of our feelings then wonder what the feelings mean - all the while giving us evidence of why it’s not a good idea because we’re sitting there scaring ourselves with our imagination.
So I hope in sharing this little vignette from my latest experience of bringing an idea into reality has helped you see with a little more clarity that doing so, doesn’t have to be done with all of the hutzpah that we’ve been fed by society… “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”, “Go big or go home!”, “Live your life with no regrets!”, “What are you waiting for?! No one is going to give you permission but yourself!” All of these phrases are a nice idea but they riddle us with a sense of urgency and therefore shame if we don’t feel the courage to leap immediately when we’re getting a nudge for something. And frankly, when we’re feeling a sense of urgency, all that feeling is telling us is that our mind is sped up and that is NOT a good state of mind to be creating from.
Also, final note, as Maya Angelou said, “God speaks in whispers until she slaps you across the face” - I’m sure a few of you out there have had some slaps across the face happening for some time and reading this may make you think, “I’ve had the nudge for a while now to _____”, but that doesn’t mean you have to make fast moves to make up for lost time. No way. Again, a sense of urgency is not sturdy. But, can you start to get curious about that whisper/slap/nudge? Can you start to get curious and follow the breadcrumbs of ideas that come to mind? Absolutely.
Softly, gently, slowly, sturdily - you’ll be surprised by how life begins to show up to support you and how the waves of natural momentum will become the wind at your back.
Sending love in all directions,
Jess
PS~ If you are reading this before March 16th + 17th, 2024 and are interested in the two day retreat all around dissolving stress in London, please reach out to me for more information. The cost for the two days is £495 and we’d be so thrilled to have you. What we’ll explore together can be life-changing and the insights you can have as a result of being with us will be sustainable in all aspects of your life.
